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Embarrassment hurts.
Dec. 23rd, 2021 06:57 pmNot as much as it did when I was young, but, yep, it still hurts.
My boss at tutoring invited me to a party for the tutors at her house. She didn't mention holidays, but I decided that presents that don't cost anything would be okay, so I brought a small Christmas cactus, and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom for the baby. One of her texts says, "During the beat poetry session, [other tutor] has an emo letter from a student to read to us and I cannot wait." Beat poetry session? I don't know whether she's kidding. I have some short funny stories that would work at an open mic. No, she's probably kidding. I get there at 4:10. There's a car in the driveway but none on the street, so I double-check the date, time and address in the text message string. I ring the doorbell. No answer. Dogs barking inside. My boss doesn't have dogs. I pull up the maps app on my phone. Maybe there is a Something Ave, and I'm on Something Drive? Nope, maps app says my location corresponds to the address in the text. I call my boss and leave voicemail. I call my son and chat for a while. He's my go-to guy for consultations on human interactions. Also it's just nice to talk to someone who thinks you're great when you get that all-too-familiar feeling of being Not Okay. He agrees that my boss might be too busy hostessing to check her voicemail. He points out that I could call someone else who was at the party, if I wanted to. He agrees that it would be okay to just go home.
The phone rings while I'm driving home. I don't answer. I'm driving. When I get home I get a text: "Omg, I fat fingered the address and didn't even notice! It's [correct address, one digit different from the address she gave me]". I realize that I should call her back, or text her back, and acknowledge what happened, but all my social-interaction wherewithal is gone. I'm thinking about the fact that mistyping your address is the kind of trick your subconscious pulls when you feel like you have to invite someone that you don't want. I don't know why my boss would feel like she had to invite me if she didn't want to, but I don't understand people, so.
All my life I've been reproached for not doing my share of the social-interaction work, but I work so hard at it! And it hurts!
My boss at tutoring invited me to a party for the tutors at her house. She didn't mention holidays, but I decided that presents that don't cost anything would be okay, so I brought a small Christmas cactus, and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom for the baby. One of her texts says, "During the beat poetry session, [other tutor] has an emo letter from a student to read to us and I cannot wait." Beat poetry session? I don't know whether she's kidding. I have some short funny stories that would work at an open mic. No, she's probably kidding. I get there at 4:10. There's a car in the driveway but none on the street, so I double-check the date, time and address in the text message string. I ring the doorbell. No answer. Dogs barking inside. My boss doesn't have dogs. I pull up the maps app on my phone. Maybe there is a Something Ave, and I'm on Something Drive? Nope, maps app says my location corresponds to the address in the text. I call my boss and leave voicemail. I call my son and chat for a while. He's my go-to guy for consultations on human interactions. Also it's just nice to talk to someone who thinks you're great when you get that all-too-familiar feeling of being Not Okay. He agrees that my boss might be too busy hostessing to check her voicemail. He points out that I could call someone else who was at the party, if I wanted to. He agrees that it would be okay to just go home.
The phone rings while I'm driving home. I don't answer. I'm driving. When I get home I get a text: "Omg, I fat fingered the address and didn't even notice! It's [correct address, one digit different from the address she gave me]". I realize that I should call her back, or text her back, and acknowledge what happened, but all my social-interaction wherewithal is gone. I'm thinking about the fact that mistyping your address is the kind of trick your subconscious pulls when you feel like you have to invite someone that you don't want. I don't know why my boss would feel like she had to invite me if she didn't want to, but I don't understand people, so.
All my life I've been reproached for not doing my share of the social-interaction work, but I work so hard at it! And it hurts!
