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Six Sentence Sunday: Post six sentences from whatever you're working on, if you're game!

[Carl is the therapist I was seeing with my former friend, as we tried to communicate through the dissolution of our friendship.]

So you got Carl to believe—for some version of "believe"—that my husband wanted to be with you and not with me. What position did that put you in? It reminds me of the time my two-year-old, after finishing her broccoli, came over to me and asked, "Can I sit in your lap?" And I said no, I wanted to eat my broccoli myself. So she turned to her dad and asked, "Can I sit in her lap?" He doesn't have the power to make that happen for you, honey. He just doesn't.
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Andrea Gibson writes, here, about a problem I struggle with: the stories we tell ourselves, over and over, knowing that they harm us but not being able to stop:

For most of my adulthood I’ve been deeply interested in how stories impact our lives. Not so much the stories we tell as writers and artists, but the stories that live deep down in our nervous systems, and don’t necessarily serve us. The stories that chronically nag at our minds and unconsciously breed doubt, insecurity and fear. The stories about our unworthiness. The stories about the ways we are not enough or too much. The stories about how others have failed us, or how we have failed ourselves. The stories of how our lives would have turned out so much differently if only. “If only” is the saddest phrase in the universe, and one of the most painful “stories” to burden our spirits with.


For them, it works to write the story down, to build a fire with friends, and to put the story into the fire. For me, that doesn't work at all, not even as a metaphor. It takes so much work to pin the story down in fixed form on paper. Putting the paper into the fire releases the story from the paper, not me from the story; it jumps straight back into my head.

I tried putting the paper into the compost pile, thinking of compost as a sloooooooow burn; every time the story tried to jump back into my brain, I would tell it, "No, you live in the compost pile now. I can see you there." But eventually that paper decomposed, and the story moved back into my brain.

I'm going to try and tell some of those old stories here. That might pin them down away from my brain. I'll let you know how it goes.
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Mungo and I went to Florida to help my mom sell her house there. She talked a bit about how her brother Jerry had bought the lot for $5 a month, when he was a young man, before any of them had ever been to Florida; her brother Jim had also started buying a lot, but he didn't keep up the payments. I could see she was having some feelings about outliving Jim and Jerry, and her baby brother Tom, and being too frail to winter in Florida anymore, but I'm not good with feelings. I encouraged her to let go of stuff, and Mungo and I did mighty work packing up the things she couldn't let go of, and I made sure she understood everything she was signing.

Yesterday we went to Gasparilla Island State Park to wade in the ocean. It's full of fish! I saw many ospreys catching fish, and people with fishing rods under the ospreys, and white ibises and brown pelicans. I got a little sunburn on my arms and sanded a lot of callus off my feet. Mungo swum in the ocean for the first time. We went along Banyan Street, which has a lot of banyans, and houseplants, crotons and sansevierias and monsteras and such, growing outside in the dirt like lilacs. I saw an osprey using a nesting platform that the power company had put up.

I remembered a story from when I was a little kid, though I think it must have happened at Lake Michigan, not in Florida. My grandma had blue-green flip-flops with white daisies on the toe straps. She went wading and lost one of them, and was very upset. All us cousins went looking for it, but fairly soon our parents gave up, saying that the tide had taken it and it was gone. But I kept looking. And kept looking. I was a very stubborn child. So I kept looking, until it got dark and I found it -- no! I found a rock. A flat oblong rock, just the size of the lost flip-flop, and weirdly shaped very much like a flip-flop.

Grandma was tickled. I painted the rock blue, with white daisies where the toe straps would be, and she took it home and used it as a door stop.

I thought I was magic. I believed that I had called that rock into being, by keeping the image of the flip-flop fixed in my mind, and searching for it so persistently.


• What are you reading?

I had to return Becoming, by Michelle Obama, and get back on the waitlist. Jesse, I think you can read the first two parts, "Becoming Me" and "Becoming Us", unless you are avoiding not just current political events but all political subjects. I haven't got to "Becoming More" yet.

• What did you recently finish reading?

Bad Science, by Ben Goldacre.

• What do you think you’ll read next?

The True Queen, by Zen Cho.

• What are you watching?

A Private War.
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This one is for [personal profile] amaebi, who loves me whether or not I make her laugh, but who sometimes needs me murmuring in her ear, "It is from these men that we get the term 'Job's comforters'".

It's me, telling the Story of Job. Less than 10 minutes.

https://soundcloud.com/boxofdelights/job

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