anxious

I'm having a lot of trouble with anxiety these days. A lot of anxiety, and a lot of trouble coping with it. Like, I'm not coping. I can't see any reason why it should be particularly difficult right now, except that anxiety is good at vicious circles. You're anxious about something that isn't a real problem, so you avoid doing it or looking at it or even thinking about it, and while you are not looking it says, "If you don't stop being anxious I will GIVE you something to be anxious about!" and turns into a real problem.

What I am particularly anxious about today is the book group dinner. I looked at my email today and discovered that the dinner is today, at 5:30, so I could, theoretically, go. Leaving the house, meeting people, those are always fraught; book group has its own special anxieties. And if I were going to see people then I would have to wash, and put on clean clothes. I believe I have clean clothes, but I am anxious enough that taking off my clothes is going to be a problem.

I'm probably not going. And book group is not going to turn into a real problem. But if you wanted to say something comforting anyway, I would appreciate it.