Dear Neighbor

[boxofdelights]

(I don't feel confident that I can say this kind of thing in a way that doesn't put someone's back up. Suggestions welcome.)

Dear Neighbor,

The light over your new garage door shines straight into my bedroom window, and I find it is disturbing my sleep. If you prefer to have the light on all night for security reasons, there are shades that will direct the light downward, and not sideways. I would appreciate it if you would use one of those.

Your neighbor at [my address].

(Also would it be better to speak to the neighbor, if I can find them at home, instead of leaving a letter?)

Comments

[rmc28]

In person if you can, you can say more or less what you write here. This might be a US/UK dialect difference but I would add some fluffiness to soften it:

Hi, sorry to bother you, but I'm noticing that your new garage door light shines straight into my bedroom window, and it's keeping me awake at night. I think you can get shades to direct the light downwards rather than sideways, could you please give that a try?

In your neighbour's shoes, I'd read your original as "person is polite but very annoyed with me and thinks I'm stupid to want the light on all night" and probably I'd eyeroll a bit and then go and get a shade fitted. Because I wouldn't want to be keeping my neighbours awake at night, even if they think I'm stupid.

[boxofdelights]

Thanks! I think you're right that "very annoyed with me and thinks I'm stupid" is how I come off even when I am trying hard not to.

[cimorene]

Yeah, I think it's the fact that your sentences are so very direct and to the point in the above text. To achieve a more diffident, uncertain, apologetic, or agreeable manner, the 'fluff' above is the best way, I think, but it's quantity of it as well. You want the whole statement to waste a bit of time and feel more roundabout, hence the multiple hesitation phrases and multiple words like "I think", "maybe", and "I don't know" to indicate that you're feeling a socially appropriate reluctance to approach them with this request.

[boxofdelights]

Agh, people, why do they need so much fluff?!

Never mind, they need what they need, and not what I think they should need.

[cimorene]

Yeah, isn't it maddening? I'm always a nervous mess through the whole conversation too because it feels absolutely insane.

[jesse_the_k]

I adore your native, low level of fluff!

[boxofdelights]

I love you too!