words of wisdom

[boxofdelights]

When you are waiting for your mammogram results, if you find yourself thinking, "If I do have cancer, I won't have to do X any more," that is a sign that you should not do X any more.

My mammogram results are normal but my sister has breast cancer, and the BRCA gene.

Comments

[notasupervillain]

I tell myself similar things when I realize something is making me depressed. It's good wisdom.

I'm sorry for your sister. I hope things go as well as they possibly can for her.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[sonia]

Best wishes to your sister!

Also best wishes with ceasing to do X. I'm sitting with an X that isn't working for me right now, but it's not clear that not-X will work for me any better.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

Yes, realizing that there is a problem is necessary, but not sufficient.

[julian]

Oh, dear. Best wishes to your sister.

If I may ask, what's your particular X Thing?

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but thank you for asking.

[julian]

Totally reasonable; I tried to ask in a way that didn't assume i had some kind of *right* to an answer, or anything. Ifwhen you want to talk about it, i'm here to listen. (Or, well, read, but you know.)

[siderea]

Indeed. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I wish the best for her and you.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

Good news!

[jesse_the_k]

Excellent advice.

Kind thoughts for your sister.

Re: Good news!

[boxofdelights]

Thank you. Excellent icon.

[redbird]

Indeed. (I assume here that X isn't something like "brush my teeth" or "do laundry.")

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[snippy]

I hope your sister is healed.

I had that exact thought last spring. The lump they removed was not cancerous, but the list of things I don't have to do is revealing.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you. It is good to get the revelation, and even better to have enough time and energy to do something with it!

[umadoshi]

Good wishes to your sister. That's so hard. :(

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[sovay]

if you find yourself thinking, "If I do have cancer, I won't have to do X any more," that is a sign that you should not do X any more.

Good call.

I hope things go as easily with your sister as possible.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[loligo]

Sending you best wishes for your sister's health.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[under_the_silk_tree]

Yeah it is best to give up on things that cause us to have such thoughts.


I'm so sorry about your sister.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[silveradept]

Good call on that rule.

Here's hoping for a complete eradication, if it is possible, for your sister.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[rmc28]

I'm glad you're ok & best wishes to your sister.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[j00j]

Fuck cancer, forever and ever, amen.

May your sister have the best treatment and outcome possible. And may you find support as you support her. Does she have access to good care and help to navigate the system?

And yes, that's definitely a sign you shouldn't do X anymore. I hope X is something you can let go of, and replace with more joyful things.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

She's a doctor, so she has knowledge and social capital. She is self-employed and doesn't have many patients or much money, but she does have Obamacare (thanks Obama!) She has two loving and supportive sons, one of whom lives in her city and comes by to take care of her (and walk his dog) twice a day. And she has her son's French Bulldog, who has been unwilling to leave her side since she got home from the hospital.

[susanreads]

I hope your sister gets through it OK.

That's a good rule.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[mrissa]

I made a similar discovery when I was saying, "when Grandma dies, I won't have to x any more," and...I do not want any reason to look forward to my grandma dying, so I took the responsibility to just stop X.

Also my grandma's eldest sister lived to be 104 11/12, and Grandma is only 86, so...I really shouldn't pin a lot on her passing just practically.

[boxofdelights]

That is a really good way to put that insight into words! I hope your relationship with your Grandma was not harmed.

[baratron]

Best wishes to you and your sister.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[kalmn]

Fuck a goddamn duck that sucks rocks through a bendy straw. *hug*

I hate talking on the phone. For you, I would talk on the phone about this. Given things, texting or gchat might work better, I am still up for both.

If you do not know if you have the BRCA gene, and you would like to find out, and you would not like your medical professionals to find out, 23andme will provide you with results for the most common BRCA mutations. They are the ones that affect people with Ashkenazi descent. (I am 3.74% Ashkenazi, apparently. Didn't know until 2015.) They are reasonably good with privacy, although my general opinion is that anyone will give up anything, given a warrant.

[boxofdelights]

I love you too.

I guess finding out if I have the gene is the next step.

[elf]

My list of X includes things like The Day Job, so "just stop X" is not a reasonable option. I'm in the process of trying to get therapy/treatment for the fact that there is an actual and growing list of X, enough that my normal risk avoidance is shifting to apathy and I would really like to find a way to stop it from shifting to risk-seeking on the premise that that will get rid of some of the X things.

[carbonel]

My niece-in-law (or whatever you call a nephew's wife) has the BRCA gene, which she discovered when her sister developed breast cancer. They want to start a family, so she's gone through a couple of rounds of IVF to make sure she only has BRCA-free children, and has had two miscarriages so far.

Fuck cancer.

[bibliofile]

Ah, a helpful thought! (Kinda like a good news/bad news joke, all in one. Very wry but still useful.)

Please keep us posted on your sister, if you're up to it. And take care.