white elephant gift exchange
Nov. 18th, 2013 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxofdelightsHave you participated in a white elephant gift exchange? Did you enjoy it? What did you enjoy about it? What rules did your gift exchange follow? Can you articulate any unspoken rules that everyone followed (like "don't gift a puppy"), or describe an occasion when an unspoken rule was broken?
My book group does this every year. I don't remember whether they started it before I dropped out, but it is the kind of thing that, when faced with, I generally find reasons to be elsewhere. Because it is the kind of thing that has rules, but nobody will tell you what they are. But this year, someone other than me was brave enough to admit to being made uncomfortable by not knowing what the rules for an acceptable gift were.
The six of us who attended November's meeting talked it over, not very successfully. Some people participate in more than one of these, and were more willing to talk about how it works (or doesn't) in their other group. One woman mentioned someone giving broken venetian blinds. One woman said that, in her other group, a sex swing got regifted every year. One woman mentioned receiving a shoebox full of hotel shampoos and lotions, which, she thought, was not intended as a joke gift. One woman who wasn't present at November's meeting was mentioned as always spending too much *and* adding homemade cookies.
One woman advocated for doing whatever pleased you, taking into account the fact that everyone else would be doing whatever pleased them. One woman, who had been trying to express how bad it can feel to receive a box of crap, especially when you have put time and thought into a nice gift, felt that the discussion had portrayed her point of view as selfish.
I would love to hear from a wider network, if you care to post a pointer to this.
My book group does this every year. I don't remember whether they started it before I dropped out, but it is the kind of thing that, when faced with, I generally find reasons to be elsewhere. Because it is the kind of thing that has rules, but nobody will tell you what they are. But this year, someone other than me was brave enough to admit to being made uncomfortable by not knowing what the rules for an acceptable gift were.
The six of us who attended November's meeting talked it over, not very successfully. Some people participate in more than one of these, and were more willing to talk about how it works (or doesn't) in their other group. One woman mentioned someone giving broken venetian blinds. One woman said that, in her other group, a sex swing got regifted every year. One woman mentioned receiving a shoebox full of hotel shampoos and lotions, which, she thought, was not intended as a joke gift. One woman who wasn't present at November's meeting was mentioned as always spending too much *and* adding homemade cookies.
One woman advocated for doing whatever pleased you, taking into account the fact that everyone else would be doing whatever pleased them. One woman, who had been trying to express how bad it can feel to receive a box of crap, especially when you have put time and thought into a nice gift, felt that the discussion had portrayed her point of view as selfish.
I would love to hear from a wider network, if you care to post a pointer to this.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-19 05:19 pm (UTC)I recall one exchange at a previous job that went well, though it wasn't quite white elephant. We bought new, small gifts with the rule that it be under $10. Our group included only the ladies from work, who met at my boss's house, there was food and alcohol involved (and a very friendly dog whom we all adored, which is a great a tension-breaker if there'd been any), and we all had a good time. But I have a feeling that our amusing evening was more the exception, less the rule.
Had one at a different job, where it included a broader range of people, and it was more strictly white elephant, with the rule that it had to be of an estimated low value, but in decent condition and something at least amusing. It went mostly okay, but still, there was that part where people switch gifts, and some folks were better-natured about it than others, and some of the gifts were just stupid and in my opinion ought to have been trashed long ago, so.... yeah. I'm not actually that keen on 'em.
Clear rules, though, and a fair knowledge of who you're with can make a big difference, I think.