white elephant gift exchange
Nov. 18th, 2013 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxofdelightsHave you participated in a white elephant gift exchange? Did you enjoy it? What did you enjoy about it? What rules did your gift exchange follow? Can you articulate any unspoken rules that everyone followed (like "don't gift a puppy"), or describe an occasion when an unspoken rule was broken?
My book group does this every year. I don't remember whether they started it before I dropped out, but it is the kind of thing that, when faced with, I generally find reasons to be elsewhere. Because it is the kind of thing that has rules, but nobody will tell you what they are. But this year, someone other than me was brave enough to admit to being made uncomfortable by not knowing what the rules for an acceptable gift were.
The six of us who attended November's meeting talked it over, not very successfully. Some people participate in more than one of these, and were more willing to talk about how it works (or doesn't) in their other group. One woman mentioned someone giving broken venetian blinds. One woman said that, in her other group, a sex swing got regifted every year. One woman mentioned receiving a shoebox full of hotel shampoos and lotions, which, she thought, was not intended as a joke gift. One woman who wasn't present at November's meeting was mentioned as always spending too much *and* adding homemade cookies.
One woman advocated for doing whatever pleased you, taking into account the fact that everyone else would be doing whatever pleased them. One woman, who had been trying to express how bad it can feel to receive a box of crap, especially when you have put time and thought into a nice gift, felt that the discussion had portrayed her point of view as selfish.
I would love to hear from a wider network, if you care to post a pointer to this.
My book group does this every year. I don't remember whether they started it before I dropped out, but it is the kind of thing that, when faced with, I generally find reasons to be elsewhere. Because it is the kind of thing that has rules, but nobody will tell you what they are. But this year, someone other than me was brave enough to admit to being made uncomfortable by not knowing what the rules for an acceptable gift were.
The six of us who attended November's meeting talked it over, not very successfully. Some people participate in more than one of these, and were more willing to talk about how it works (or doesn't) in their other group. One woman mentioned someone giving broken venetian blinds. One woman said that, in her other group, a sex swing got regifted every year. One woman mentioned receiving a shoebox full of hotel shampoos and lotions, which, she thought, was not intended as a joke gift. One woman who wasn't present at November's meeting was mentioned as always spending too much *and* adding homemade cookies.
One woman advocated for doing whatever pleased you, taking into account the fact that everyone else would be doing whatever pleased them. One woman, who had been trying to express how bad it can feel to receive a box of crap, especially when you have put time and thought into a nice gift, felt that the discussion had portrayed her point of view as selfish.
I would love to hear from a wider network, if you care to post a pointer to this.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-19 01:36 am (UTC)I like the idea of a mathom exchange. Where everyone brings something of value that they have no use for. Possible rule, "bring the most valuable thing you have no use for"? Then after all the presents are opened have an open outcry exchange. Though, come to think of it, that may work better if everyone brings three items. Then people can end up with one thing they really want or a whole bunch of things they slightly want.
If it is a crafty group a made things exchange could work. If there are some non-crafty people have them buy something at an agreed upon value thinking of how much your craft work is worth.
Or there could be a service exchange. Two and a half hours of babysitting, two hours of help with yardwork, etc.
Or a hybrid version where you bring one mathom, one thing you bought for under $10 or made in about three hours (the assumption being that your take home after expenses is about $3/hour), and one voucher for a service.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-20 05:49 am (UTC)That idea is tremendously appealing until I realized that for me, it would be the drum kit that both kids used to play and neither has any plans to return to.
I do like all your ideas better than whatever it is we're doing now.