10 things I'd like you to know about me.

[boxofdelights]

So, Kouredios's fannish friending post happened. I didn't comment there, because my participation in fandom is almost entirely as a consumer (except that I would be glad to beta read for you), but I want to make an introduction post anyway.

1. I have two kids, who are 20 and 17 now. They go by Nixie and Mungo in this journal. (Their real names are a little less odd.) I do rather dote on them, but, in my defense, I must say they make that easy.

2. On the Permissive<-->Authoritarian parenting spectrum, I'm way way way over on the permissive end. I would like you to know that permissiveness does not mean "Sure, trample on other people's rights" any more than it means "Sure, go play in traffic." It means "You are just as much a person as anyone else here, and your rights are as important as any other person's rights."

3. I'm a dog person. My daughter says "Your dogs are your babies", but I'm authoritarian with the dogs. That is because dogs will not grow up and be responsible for themselves. "Just do as I say" will always be a good life strategy for dogs.

4. I have a dog named Aiko. Other than that, I live alone.

5. I have a husband, but we're just good friends, really. We were a couple for thirty years and now we're not.

6. I'm polyamorous, but I haven't had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship for a long time, and I probably never will again.

7. I'm long-term unemployed. I have a lot of shame about that.

8. I'm partly deaf. One ear works, the other doesn't. I do a lot of work unconsciously to fill in the gaps between what you say and what I hear. This works well enough most of the time to make me seem fully functional. Unfortunately, this makes people -- even people who know that I'm partly deaf -- assume that I'm ignoring them. I don't ignore people. If I'm not looking at you, I probably can't hear you. Also unfortunately, I don't know which bits I actually hear and which bits I unconsciously reconstruct. That can get awkward.

9. When I was about twelve, depression came and sat on me like Shelob. I came to think it was part of me. Then, when I was fortysomething, it lifted. I think my CPAP fixed it. I think I've had sleep apnea all my life. Even as a tiny kid I snored, and I got frequent unquenchable hiccups. And the ENT guy who diagnosed my deafness also said my throat and Eustachian tubes were small and ill-shaped. Anyway, I'm not depressed anymore. Though you wouldn't know that looking at my house.

9 1/2. Unfortunately the CPAP did not do anything about my anxiety. I think that really is part of me.

10. I tell stories. I'm trying to learn how to write stories, but it is so much harder to tell stories without my voice, without my hands, without my eyebrows, without control of the stress, the intonation, the timing, with nothing but words, words, words! I don't know how you all do it. But, as I said, I would be glad to beta read for you.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

One thing I'd like you to know about you: you are delightful. Warm, spontaneous, kind, intelligent.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[amaebi]

So, so, so, true. :)

[wordweaverlynn]

That was me.

[sasha_feather]

Have you ever thought about recording podfic?

I like you and enjoyed reading this post.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you. I have thought about it, I just haven't done anything about it!

[hobbitbabe]

I really like you. And I like listening to your stories in person and reading them on the internet. I would like to be able to tell stories as well as you do.

[boxofdelights]

Thank you. I like you too.

[cme]

I love my cpap so much. It makes me able to hold a job. Pre-cpap, I slept all the time, never felt rested, and could not get out of bed in the morning. Post-cpap is not perfect (apparently I am just not a morning person), but it's a lot better.

I sympathize with your unemployment shame. I was unemployed forsome years (at a time in my life that was bad enough that I don't remember exactly how long it was).

Do you like being touched on the arm to get your attention, or do you prefer not?

Thanks for posting this. I liked reading it and learning more about you.

[boxofdelights]

I do like being touched. That is, I don't mind being touched to get my attention, and I like being touched by people I like. And I like you.

[cme]

Awww, thank you! I like you too. :) I will remember this for Wiscon (Wiscon! I should be thinking about making arrangements!)

[rmc28]

Hello. I'm here from liv's introduction meme, also a parent at the permissive end but with much younger children (6 & 1).

[boxofdelights]

Since mine are almost grown up, I can tell you something I always liked hearing when they were very young: it may be extra work now, but it pays off, in children who trust that when you warn them about danger, it's not just another attempt to control; teenagers who want to be kind and fair to you; young people who know what a relationship based on honesty and respect for their boundaries feels like.

[divvyrummage]

I can relate to 7 and 8. I grew up with a deaf person in the family so I'm good at the whole "talking to hard of hearing" thing, once I know it's necessary. (I've added you but no need to reciprocate; I just want to be able to find you again.)

[enemyofperfect]

Having wandered in from the link on your profile -- thank you so much for thing number two! Parenting has always struck me as an incredibly demanding job, and I have so much admiration for people who do it well.