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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a *Rolling Stone* interview, musician John
Mayer suggested that Tiger Woods could have avoided his terrible
troubles if he had just chosen to masturbate more. Rather than literally
acting out his obsessive sexual urges with a jillion women who weren't his
wife, why not contain them in the fantasy realm? I suggest you consider
applying this principle as you make your decisions in the coming weeks,
Scorpio -- not just in regards to your sexual life, but in other areas as well.
There may be times when you could prevent an influx of unnecessary
chaos simply by conducting a conversation in your imagination rather
than by having it with the actual person who seems to be agitating or
enthralling you.
See, almost all of my interaction with other people is already confined only to my own imagination. Except for sex: there, you can drop the "almost".
Last time I saw my husband it occurred to me that our sex life has been missing for seven years. I thought about pointing that out to him, suggesting that we have it declared dead; but then I was afraid that he would say-- he wouldn't literally say, "well, duh," but I was afraid that he would say something emotionally equivalent to "well, duh," which would enrage me, because every time I asked him about our missing sex life, every single time over the past seven years, he insisted it was pining for the fjords.
So, we didn't have that conversation.
That's my life, mostly: not having that conversation.
At Wiscon, though, I was shockingly non-self-effacing. You know what I did? Well, lots of things, of course, but the one that most purely self-satisfies me was at a Monday 10 a.m. panel where the panelists kept leaving their hands in front of their mouths while they talked. I had to think about this for a long time before I did it, but once I decided, I stuck my hand all the way up in the air and left it there. I think maybe my visible discomfort made the moderator uncomfortable also, because he sighed and looked at everyone else in the room before he called on me. But then he did call on me, and I did say, "Could I ask you all to please take your hands away from your mouths while you are talking," in a voice that was unfortunately pretty goddam shaky from feeling conspicuous plus correcting other people.
I know I don't have good judgment on the question, to speak or not to speak? I haven't had enough practice to be very good at it yet. But I would like to be more like me-at-Wiscon.
Mayer suggested that Tiger Woods could have avoided his terrible
troubles if he had just chosen to masturbate more. Rather than literally
acting out his obsessive sexual urges with a jillion women who weren't his
wife, why not contain them in the fantasy realm? I suggest you consider
applying this principle as you make your decisions in the coming weeks,
Scorpio -- not just in regards to your sexual life, but in other areas as well.
There may be times when you could prevent an influx of unnecessary
chaos simply by conducting a conversation in your imagination rather
than by having it with the actual person who seems to be agitating or
enthralling you.
See, almost all of my interaction with other people is already confined only to my own imagination. Except for sex: there, you can drop the "almost".
Last time I saw my husband it occurred to me that our sex life has been missing for seven years. I thought about pointing that out to him, suggesting that we have it declared dead; but then I was afraid that he would say-- he wouldn't literally say, "well, duh," but I was afraid that he would say something emotionally equivalent to "well, duh," which would enrage me, because every time I asked him about our missing sex life, every single time over the past seven years, he insisted it was pining for the fjords.
So, we didn't have that conversation.
That's my life, mostly: not having that conversation.
At Wiscon, though, I was shockingly non-self-effacing. You know what I did? Well, lots of things, of course, but the one that most purely self-satisfies me was at a Monday 10 a.m. panel where the panelists kept leaving their hands in front of their mouths while they talked. I had to think about this for a long time before I did it, but once I decided, I stuck my hand all the way up in the air and left it there. I think maybe my visible discomfort made the moderator uncomfortable also, because he sighed and looked at everyone else in the room before he called on me. But then he did call on me, and I did say, "Could I ask you all to please take your hands away from your mouths while you are talking," in a voice that was unfortunately pretty goddam shaky from feeling conspicuous plus correcting other people.
I know I don't have good judgment on the question, to speak or not to speak? I haven't had enough practice to be very good at it yet. But I would like to be more like me-at-Wiscon.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 08:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-06 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 11:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 01:13 pm (UTC)Speaking of Wiscon, I just wanted to tell you that the hooded beach towels that you passed on to me a few years ago have turned out to be some of the best free second-hand items I have ever received. The kids use them for every single bath, and then they run around the house playing "orca bat and dolphin bat". And Chuckles sometimes sleeps with hers (the dolphin).
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 08:06 pm (UTC)2) As correction and conspicuousness, that feels pretty mild to me. It makes me a little sad that that's so hard for you.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-09 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 09:48 am (UTC)I liked you-at-wiscon last year. May you succeed at being more like you-at-wiscon.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 11:51 am (UTC)I can't conceive that you ever speak when you oughtn't-- which is not the same as being unable to conceive that you've been told that you shouldn't have spoken. There's a lot of oppression around.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 01:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 03:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 08:00 pm (UTC)(I also noticed that despite good explicit instructions and intentions on this point, panelists using the microphones was extremely mixed / spotty, and when being asked to do so, some were cool with it but many seemed resentful, a few kept "forgetting" even after being reminded more than once, and one or two were openly hostile about it.)
no subject
Date: 2010-06-03 09:16 pm (UTC)i am certain that people are glad that you spoke up.
and i am really glad to get to see you, though time was so truncated.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 06:32 pm (UTC)Well done for speaking up.