boxofdelights

Okay I figured that a REALTOR® would have to be a person who liked to talk to people[*], but aiee! I don't know if I can do this.

Today I got to look at a house. All the other houses I called about were already under contract. All the realtors I spoke to asked lots of nosy questions, of course, in order to help them find other houses I might like to look at, but today's realtor -- the first who could show me the house I called about -- was also the first who asked, in that initial conversation, (1)what kinds of dogs I have and (2)what my children's names are.

She isn't free during Mungo's summer Band class, so we meet right after Band, so Mungo is with me. The first thing she says is how nice my voice sounded on the phone; it made her think I'd be the nicest person she ever met. I smile politely and say no, I just have a nice phone voice. Then she turns to Mungo, greets him by name, and exclaims, "You have great eyes!"[**] Neither Mungo nor I know how to respond to this. "How old are you?" she asks. He admits to being thirteen. "That explains it!" she says.[***] "Pretty soon, girls will be telling you that all the time."

To cope with two people who don't talk much, this realtor talks enough for three. She doesn't know how old the roof is, or what the crime rate in this neighborhood is, or how much the house next door is under contract for, but she can find points of commonality even with me. I tutor math; she tells me about her professor -- who she's still friends with -- who teaches teachers to teach math. She admires my "calm energy". She asks if she can give my contact details to a friend of hers whose daughter can't graduate from CSU because she can't pass algebra. She asks, again, what kind of dogs I have, and exclaims, "I love that you have mutts!"

A few hours later, she calls to tell me that her office has received an offer on the property I looked at. I don't call back.

I agreed to meet her on Wednesday to look at three other houses. Part of me wants to cancel. Another part wants to go, with a tape recorder, to collect samples of a character who, cheerfully and with all goodwill, would drive a character like me insane.

[*]although I can see an empty market niche: REALTOR® to introverts! No unnecessary communication! As much as possible, all communication through email! When face-to-face meetings are unavoidable, I only speak in response to your questions!

[**]This is not as insane as it sounds. He does have startlingly beautiful eyes.

[***]No. It has nothing to do with being thirteen. Perhaps the realtor comes from a culture where it is polite to give a compliment on meeting; for Mungo and me, personal remarks from strangers are the opposite of polite.

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bcholmes

No unnecessary communication! As much as possible, all communication through email! When face-to-face meetings are unavoidable, I only speak in response to your questions!

This part made me laugh out loud.

loligo

Argh. If I could loan you my realtor, I would -- she is brimming with energy, but it is a very professional energy. She kind of reminds me of a border collie: she attacks the problem of matching people to homes with same joyful, fluid single-mindedness that collies bring to herding sheep.

magnetic_pole

[*]although I can see an empty market niche: REALTOR® to introverts! No unnecessary communication! As much as possible, all communication through email! When face-to-face meetings are unavoidable, I only speak in response to your questions!

I adore this idea. You couldn't make it happen by the time I have to sell my place, could you? I dread going back to the same woman we bought the place from, even though I know she was only trying to be polite. *sigh* M.