boxofdelights

>The idea that a self is only validated as authentic (whatever either of those words mean) by an outside opinion seems drastically wrong to me.

This.

To me, depending on outer affirmation for one's own validity is unhealthy and even dangerous. External affirmation can be wonderful, and it can be a good thing to receive it from some people (especially people closer to you). In the end, though, your self has to stand on its own too.

(OTOH, this "radical" belonging helps explain some of the dynamics that I've noticed in some groups, but that's probably a different post.)