me want cookie

[boxofdelights]

https://conuly.dreamwidth.org/3348405.html

A nine-year-old I was tutoring because his regular tutor was on vacation asked me, "Why do you wear a mask?" -- not in a curious tone, in that sneery tone that is common enough among middle-schoolers but surprising from a nine-year-old.

I said, matter-of-factly, "Because I don't want to catch covid and die." He rolled his eyes at me.

(At a previous session this kid told me that his dad was mad at him for getting vaccinated. Why? Because the Covid vaccine kills you. (His dad lives in Canada. His mom and stepdad seem reasonable.))

I said, "Well, we all have to judge risks for ourselves, and most diseases are more dangerous to me than they are to you." Which is true enough, but I expect that normal nine-year-old narcissism is going to conclude that that means he's fine, and if I die that's my problem.

The other two kids at the table did not say a word.

Comments

[lilysea]

Yeah, I would have been tempted to tell him

"Kids your age and younger have died from COVID, and some kids your age and younger who survived have permanent heart damage from COVID"

because upsetting children is better than children getting life threatening illnesses

[oracne]

How utterly not-charming that child is. Though I imagine pushing at it has something to do with disagreements among the Canadian dad and the parents.

[sabotabby]

Good. We're not allowed to be honest with them, though I sometimes am anyway. Someone should be honest with them.

[adrian_turtle]

Here, have a cookie. You deserve lots of them.

I don't blame the other 9-year-olds for not speaking up. It's hard to step into a conflict between another kid and an adult.

[sonia]

Wow, well-handled. I would have had a hard time with being sneered at.

[bibliofile]

Many cookies.

> I don't blame the other 9-year-olds for not speaking up. It's hard to step into a conflict between another kid and an adult.

Not that they weren't paying close attention. Another time when speaking up may benefit the entire audience, not just the person you're addressing.

Being caught between dueling parental opinions is crap, though.

[boxofdelights]

I don't blame them for going silent either. Though I would like to know what they were thinking!

[silveradept]

A cookie is yours for this. Well done with the age-appropriate and honest answer.

[boxofdelights]

Yeah, I think kids always deserve the truth.

I do worry about putting a kid in conflict with his angry dad's conspiracy theories, but, in this case, the parents he lives with are vaccinated, and the kid already knows he has to be careful.

[boxofdelights]

I am glad I am not his regular tutor!

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.

[boxofdelights]

It is a hard position for the kid to be in. I try to say what I think without criticizing his dad, except that I did say, "He shouldn't be mad at you for getting vaccinated. You're just a kid."

[boxofdelights]

Yeah. I don't understand people who don't want their kids to hear a viewpoint that disagrees with their own. The child is already able to observe evidence and reason through arguments. We want them to get better at it, so they can grow up to be free and competent citizens, but they get better by getting lots of practice at reasoning, evaluating, and rejecting ideas!

[boxofdelights]

I can't stand being sneered at by men, but kids get a lot of sympathy from me, even when they are acting like jerks. They have so little power over their own lives, and so much less power in our interactions than I do, that it is easy for me to see the jerkishness as their struggle against oppression.

I do resent them lumping me into the whole conglomerate of things that are oppressing them, and then taking it out on me because I'm here, and safe, and kind; but still -- between me, and a nine-year-old sneering at me, I have so much of the power!

[sonia]

Good point! As others have said, many cookies!