Don't Change the Game

[boxofdelights]

A good idea: http://siderea.livejournal.com/1324762.html

Does your experience agree with siderea that

In an important sense, this is just politeness: don't selfishly hijack conversations that were going fine without you to be about what you'd prefer to discuss instead. On the other hand, I doubt anybody has ever in your entire lives suggested that changing a conversational topic is ever impolite, except, you know, this whole "derailing" concept from social justice activism on the internet. And most people are actually pretty terrible at discerning just what the topic is in a discussion, it not being a skill it ever crossed normal people's minds to desire to acquire.

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Comments

[the_siobhan]

In my experience it's a lot less rare than she states. People say, "Don't change the subject," or "You're missing the point," all the time in meatspace discussions.

[boxofdelights]

That's my experience too. And the next step is often wrangling over who gets to decide what the subject is, which prevents either side from having the conversation they want.

[jesse_the_k]

Ah, her identification of Short/Medium/Long Game was very helpful. Interrupting a Short Game discussion with a Long Game issue demoralizes speakers who are trying to effect useful change.

Example: Short game -- how can we contact our reps today?
Long game -- how can we undo the Republicans' redistricting which ensured only they won at the state level?

[boxofdelights]

I'm glad it was useful!