(no subject)
Sep. 16th, 2012 09:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxofdelightsToday I did voter registration at the Sustainable Living Fair. We didn't have a booth, we just stood outside the gates and asked people entering and leaving, "Is your voter registration up to date?" Almost everyone assured us that they were registered, and thanked us for being there. I got to fill out seven forms, including two for young people who had never registered before. The old hand I went with assured me that that was an awesome number. She only got one.
"Beginner's luck," I said.
"No, you have a nice face," she said.
"I do!" I said. "I tell people, 'I have a kind face. Don't let it fool you.'"
I've been thinking about street harassment, and how I want all my interactions to be consensual. I learned something about peer pressure today: the closer Beverley and I were, the more likely I was to approach everyone who passed. When she couldn't see me, I still kept my clipboard and my smile front and center, but I waited for people to slow their steps, turn toward me, or make eye contact before I spoke to them.
"Beginner's luck," I said.
"No, you have a nice face," she said.
"I do!" I said. "I tell people, 'I have a kind face. Don't let it fool you.'"
I've been thinking about street harassment, and how I want all my interactions to be consensual. I learned something about peer pressure today: the closer Beverley and I were, the more likely I was to approach everyone who passed. When she couldn't see me, I still kept my clipboard and my smile front and center, but I waited for people to slow their steps, turn toward me, or make eye contact before I spoke to them.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 02:36 pm (UTC)The woman nearest us came over and started to ask if we were regular BART riders. Queershoulder said, "We're not interested." She leaned in closer and asked again. The three of us said, more or less in unison, "We're not interested!" She leaned in closer, and said, "None of you?" Repeat: "We're not interested!"
It was like a little lesson in how not to do what she was doing. If I had been alone, I would have filled out her survey in a heartbeat, but respecting my friend's preference was far more important to me than filling it out. And I was shocked by how hard it was to get her to accept a "no."
(This is not about you; it's free association from your post.)
no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 08:10 pm (UTC)I know that women are often supposed to be schmoos if we are kind, and you are not a schmoo. Who'd want to be?
But I think you're very kind. A kind human, not a schmoo.