my theory. which is mine.

[boxofdelights]

You might have seen the PBS look at fan art which didn't see any women to talk to.

And this comment on the erasure of female fandom.

And now I am going to tell you my theory, which is mine, which is: Some men know that women aren't funny. They may not say so, maybe not even to themselves, but when they perceive a woman being funny they experience cognitive dissonance, and need to find some other explanation.

I ran into that a lot on Usenet, where I would say something funny and then some guy would explain to me that what I said was funny. And I always wondered, what did that guy think I was telling that story for, if I didn't know it was funny?

At this past Wiscon, ljgeoff said that she thought she was turning into her grandmother, and amaebi said, "I do hope she's not dead." Some guy who overheard this chortled about inadvertently funny things people say at Wiscon. Okay, people do say inadvertently funny things all the time, but why would that be your first interpretation? If amaebi didn't mean to be funny, what did she mean?

And the fan artist in the PBS video who can't understand the artists in BBC Sherlock fandom, are they joking, what the heck is their deal? He mentioned this piece, which depicts Sherlock as an alpaca and John as a Corgi (yes! he is such a Corgi!). He's thought about it enough to talk about it on TV, and he can't tell whether it's supposed to be funny? Really? Really??

Comments

[malkingrey]

My theory:

Speaking (as one does) in broad generalizations, male and female joke-telling styles -- and in particular the verbal and non-verbal signals for "what follows next is intended to be funny" -- are different. Most women, for all the usual reasons, are experienced in recognizing male "this is a joke" signals; men, on the other hand, have never experienced social pressure to learn the equivalent female signals, and therefore have trouble recognizing female humorous intent even when it's right in front of them.

[boxofdelights]

I like your theory.

I think your theory explains, for example, why English people think Americans don't understand irony. "Irony" signals are subtle; they don't get across the cross-cultural barrier until they're turned up to "sarcasm".

[boxofdelights]

But! It is so incomprehensible to me that men have never experienced social pressure to learn the equivalent female signals! Most of them want women to like them, right? And laughing at each other's jokes is such a promising sign for being able to delight each other in other ways, you'd think it would be part of the Pick-Up Artist's manual!

[maize]

One possible note in relation to this theory is that if I say to someone, "That's funny," or, "You're funny," I almost never mean to imply that they weren't trying to be funny or didn't know they were funny. It's in the same tone as saying, "That's clever," when someone presents you with a clever solution to a problem. It's an acknowledgment of the cleverness, not an attempt to imply that the person didn't also know it was clever already or that you were giving the person new information by saying that.

[boxofdelights]

It could be that I am misinterpreting those messages, at least some of the time.

[sasha_feather]

I believe you; I just don't know how people acquire this belief that women aren't funny. Maybe it is how I grew up vs. how other people grew up.

[isis]

Huh. I'm pretty funny, and in my (nonfandom) online life I do not find that men react any differently from women to the comments I make. I do not disagree that you have experienced this! Just saying that I, personally, have not.

[boxofdelights]

I do think it's Some Guys, very much not Most Guys. And I am glad to know that your experience has been free of them!