baggage

[boxofdelights]

When I moved out of my husband's house I didn't take most of my books with me; my new house was going to need a lot of work to be habitable, so it didn't make sense to fill it up with heavy bookcases.

Most of them are here now, but they are still trickling in, a box at a time, as I make space for them. I didn't sort them and pack them, so it's always a surprise, usually a pleasant one. Today I got a box of relationship books.

I have one bookcase for what I think of as "interpersonal": psychology, parenting, teaching. Miss Manners is there too. The bottom shelf is half-empty, but this box has too many books to fit on it. So I should weed them, right?

I don't want to. Just looking at the covers is making me remember the time when I read all those books, when I was trying to be in a relationship. I don't want to crack those covers and let the memory of misery back out, in this new house that belongs to me alone.

I read the other books in that bookcase at the same time-- trying to be happy, trying to be a good parent, trying to do the work-- but they don't carry the same feelings. I could read through any of them and decide whether I wanted to keep it.

I don't want to consign the whole box to Little Free Libraries unlooked-at. I do want to look through them... later.

Comments

[glaurung]

Nothing wrong with putting that box aside until you are ready to look at the books and decide what to do with them. Also nothing wrong with leaving some books in boxes for weeks, months, or years because you don’t have the room/the brainspace/the emotional bandwidth for dealing with them.

[lunabee34]

I completely agree.

[boxofdelights]

*hugs*

[boxofdelights]

Thank you.