boxofdelights (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
boxofdelights) wrote2013-10-30 11:32 pm
boxofdelights) wrote2013-10-30 11:32 pm
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50!
I got flowers, chocolate, a balloon, a phone call from my daughter who is trying to get her visa in order for a trip to Russia, a very nice dinner out with my husband and son.
I wish I could also have some pause in the old meno. (I have decided not to cut-tag for gross. I have heard the argument that I should treat disgust at menses as kindly as I would arachnophobia, and I am sorry, but for my own well-being I need to reject every way I was taught to feel shame at having a female body. No hard feelings toward anyone who decides to stop reading what I write, for any reason.) I don't even understand how this is happening. I'd have thought the uterine lining needed some time to build up before it began shedding again, but I've been bleeding from August 6 to August 29, then September 5 to September 22, then October 6 to 15, and October 20 to who knows. And most of those days have involved chunks and containment vessel failures.
I've been doing this for forty years already. I am so done.
I wish I could also have some pause in the old meno. (I have decided not to cut-tag for gross. I have heard the argument that I should treat disgust at menses as kindly as I would arachnophobia, and I am sorry, but for my own well-being I need to reject every way I was taught to feel shame at having a female body. No hard feelings toward anyone who decides to stop reading what I write, for any reason.) I don't even understand how this is happening. I'd have thought the uterine lining needed some time to build up before it began shedding again, but I've been bleeding from August 6 to August 29, then September 5 to September 22, then October 6 to 15, and October 20 to who knows. And most of those days have involved chunks and containment vessel failures.
I've been doing this for forty years already. I am so done.
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As for menopause. AS FOR MENOPAUSE. I'm four years older than you, and I'm still awaiting that magic year of living bleedlessly. The floods of my early 50s are gone, and the hot flashes are less frequent now. Maybe someday it will end. (Note icon.)
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