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From http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/016318.html, on the Hugo award ceremony

#67 ::: Sumana Harihareswara ::: (view all by) ::: August 23, 2015, 11:45 AM:

I am grateful for the livestream, and for our community.

I am Hindu and I felt like the mocking repetition of a Hare Krishna chant was a slap in the face to me.

#68 ::: Bruce Adelsohn ::: (view all by) ::: August 23, 2015, 11:52 AM:

Sumana Harihareswara @67: It didn't seem mocking to me. Rather, it was aimed at bringing peace to a number of souls who needed it. YMMV, of course, but that's how I saw it on the stream.
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I hosted book group last month. (This is the book group that I was in for eleven years, then dropped out for ten, then dropped back in; the group is a year older than my daughter, so I've been back in for ~three years. We each pick a month to host: the host chooses the book and makes dinner. I host at Jo's house because my house is really not fit to invite people into.)

My book was Housekeeping. I checked a book group kit (10 copies of the book + a binder with reviews and biographical information) out of the library. It's due back today.

Three people didn't return their copies to me at book group, which was three weeks ago. I sent email to the whole list earlier this week, reminding people that the kit was due August 8, and that the library has a strong preference that all the items be returned together, so to please give them back to me. Two people did.

What would you do? Other pieces of information that may or may not affect your decision:

- I am almost but not 100% sure that I know who took a book and hasn't given it back.

- I find this woman very tiring, because I don't think she likes me, but she seems to want to cover it up by over-acting affection. Insincerity is never more exhausting than when it comes in hugs and prolonged one-on-one conversations.

- I have been considering dropping out of this book group anyway, because as a whole, it doesn't bring me enough happy to make up for the times it makes me feel slighted.

- On the other hand, there are people in this book group that I like a lot and I am sure they like me. I know I could theoretically drop out of book group but maintain the individual relationships, but I know me and I would not make that happen.

- Also long-term relationships are more useful for learning about people than any number of first dates.

- This is not a good time for me to accept advice that begins, "Why don't you just..."

TIL

Jul. 28th, 2015 09:08 pm
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Today I Learned that the Safety Data Sheet (what used to be called the Material Safety Data Sheet) for the hand soap that we use at the raptor center says that if you get this substance on your skin, you should wash it off with soap and water.

Also I got to watch this video of a goshawk maneuvering (very tight, very fast) through trees.
https://www.facebook.com/atmacasparrowhawkaccipiternisus/videos/121267271547623/?fref=nf

sleeping

Jul. 8th, 2015 11:18 pm
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I'm sleeping terribly again, staying up later and later; getting up later too, but not late enough to get six hours in. It's having the usual consequences on memory, focus, and the ability to actually do a thing instead of realizing that I ought to do it, and realizing that I ought to do it, and realizing that I ought to do it....

This is one of the things I need my dogs for. They're very good at telling me it's time to eat, or it's time to go out; harder for me to ignore than my own body. They do try to tell me when it's time to go to bed, but I can ignore that, since they can go to bed without my help.

This evening Aiko nudged me, so we went out, but just stood on the back deck. A few minutes after we came in, he nudged me again. I told him to go lie down. Then I realized that I hadn't given him his pills with dinner. (I set out his pills for the next day each night when I set out mine, so I can check whether I have given them to him.) The carprofen has to be taken with food, (I assume because it is an NSAID and would give him ulcers otherwise? I don't know, he gets fed twice a day and pilled twice a day, it all works fine when I don't fuck up,) so I gave him a little more food, and his pills.

I've got to figure out how to sleep better.
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Someone tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Susan." I said "yes" and turned around and found myself face to face with The Person at Wiscon I Don't Want To Interact With. I thought I had girded my loins for this. I was going to continue to refuse to interact with them (yes, even when you lean out of your chair at a 45-degree angle and wave your whole arm and spread hand in front of me, I cannot see you, is it not amazing) unless they forced me to, and then I would say clearly and firmly, "I still don't want to interact with you," and not care if I got judged to be a bitch.

I think if I had seen them coming, I would have been able to pull up my big-girl loin girds and do that. But they came from behind, and suddenly there we were, less than a foot apart and in conversation already.

Ten years of refusing to interact down the drain, because now they can say, "How was I supposed to know you didn't want to interact? We had a perfectly fine conversation at Wiscon 39!"

Swearword.
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Storytelling party did not work. A few people came, and it was quiet and pleasant, but it was not a storytelling party. I took all the food down to the lobby, where everyone was.

Paris!

May. 9th, 2015 05:27 pm
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Nixie's senior thesis was accepted as a poster to a conference on cognition in Paris! *snoopy dance* Reed gave her a travel grant for $1500, which almost covers the plane ticket. She wants to travel with her friend Chris, whose thesis also got accepted, but he wants to come back on July 11, because he's taking the MCAT on the 17th, and she'd like to stay a few days longer and tourist. She doesn't speak any French. She has a summer job studying memory. But Paris!
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I am responsible for hosting a storytelling party! I am a little bit terrified! It's on the second floor, so I can't serve alcohol. The good side is that I don't have to find a co-host who is willing to take turns keeping an eye on the alcohol. The bad side is... how am I going to lure people in? Nice foods, I suppose. But how do you decide how much foods to have, when you don't have any idea how many people might come?
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Scorpio Horoscope for week of February 5, 2015
In 1837, Victoria became Queen of England following the death of her uncle, King William IV. She was 18 years old. Her first royal act was to move her bed out of the room she had long shared with her meddling, overbearing mother. I propose that you use this as one of your guiding metaphors in the immediate future. Even if your parents are saints, and even if you haven't lived with them for years, I suspect you would benefit by upgrading your independence from their influence. Are you still a bit inhibited by the nagging of their voices in your head? Does your desire to avoid hurting them thwart you from rising to a higher level of authority and authenticity? Be a good-natured rebel.
I am really irritable with my mom right now. She's coming to Portland for Nixie's graduation, and so are my brother and sister and their kids and partners. I haven't seen any of them for years. My mom pointed out that Chris's kids are in seventh and fourth grades, and asked how long ago I had seen them, and said, "Oh, Susan." (Say "You're such a disappointment." That's the intonation my mom used to say, "Oh, Susan.") Now, it is true that I am, as I always have been, the shy one, the one who is always too tired, the one who would rather not go. (It is also true that the last time I went to Seattle I did not visit my brother (but my mom doesn't know that.)) But since Chris got married, I have taken my children to Seattle to visit his family three times. He has come to Colorado to visit my family zero times. I think she is reproaching the wrong person here.

I snapped at her for reproaching me. She said it wasn't a reproach. I said, "I think you meant that I should have gone there more often." She said she didn't say "should".

Then she said, "Don't get upset." Which. What!? What purpose does that serve? What purpose does a person saying that think that it serves? Is it possible to believe that it will help the other person not get upset?

I don't know, because I don't say things like that, but I can't see it as anything other than a dominance gesture. It presupposes that I, the speaker, am calm and rational, while you, the spoken-to, are irrational and emotional and upset. It presupposes that I am entitled to tell you what to feel. And it shifts the ground, so that the problem is no longer whatever I did; the problem is that you got upset.

I would prefer not to get upset. I prefer to remain calm, self-contained, arm's-length, unrufflable; to stay inside my boundaries and keep out of my mom's; specifically, not to react to what I think she's thinking. That's none of my business. What she says to me might be my business, but I'm trying to figure out how not to let it get under my skin.

But I think my mom wants us to be closer. I think she wants us to be affectionately close, or, failing that, to fake it; but I think she would rather ruffle me than let me stay at arm's length.

I'm working on scripts for when we are in person:

No hugging.

Because I don't want to.

"Because I don't want to" doesn't need a reason. It is the reason.

Because every time you touch me I flash back to that moment when I was twenty and you grabbed me between my breasts and stuck your thumb under my bra band and snapped it in order to prove that I wasn't wearing a bra, so I want you to keep your creepy creepy hands off my body -- I mean, I really think you'd rather I didn't answer that question.
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Bookgroup discussion of We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves today. Reread reminded me of a spoilery question: it's about Peter's scar )
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you guys the little dog just came into the house with an apple blossom petal stuck to his nose. he could not get it off.
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Cell phone video can bring us closer to justice, even when an on-duty police officer murders an unarmed black man who is running away.

http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/south-carolina-officer-charged-with-murder-424611395952

phenology

Mar. 31st, 2015 11:27 pm
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Four baby great horned owls have fallen out of their nests and made it to the raptor center so far this year. Three of them fell with their nest, which was in a hollow cottonwood branch. Two of those have been returned, in a basket, to where the nest used to be. The parents, who had kept bringing food to the empty downed branch, have been seen visiting the basket, so they are probably fine. The third has a broken leg, so will be staying with us for a while.

The fourth came in separately, covered with blood, but no visible wounds. There was blood in the cage the next day and the day after, but not today, and its mouth is not as pale as it was.

Avian flu has been discovered less than 150 miles from us, as the Canada goose flies, so every week we get new instructions on how not to transmit disease. New vocab word: fomite, an inanimate object (as a dish, toy, book, doorknob, or clothing) that may be contaminated with infectious organisms and serve in their transmission [the much maligned toilet seat is a remarkably ineffective fomiteā€”M. F. Rein]

dog fud

Mar. 28th, 2015 11:14 pm
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I have a big dog, who has been eating Wellness Core, and a little dog, who has been eating Newmans Own, which, I learn from that review site, is not actually a very good dog food. I get both dog foods delivered by Amazon Subscribe&Save. Last month Amazon couldn't get any Newmans Own, so I have been mixing some Wellness Core into the little dog's food to stretch it out. This month, Amazon does have Newmans again, but at $35.11 for the 12.5-lb bag that they charged me $20.32 for, last shipment.

I've been feeding them different foods because I assumed that the little dog, who is really very little, needed a smaller kibble size. But he is eating the big dog's kibble just fine. Is there any reason not to feed them both the same (better quality) food?

phenology

Mar. 20th, 2015 01:13 pm
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I just saw an ice-cream truck go by. "Little girl running and the little boy too/Got their money tucked up in their hand..." Well, no, they don't, it is 1:13 p.m. on Friday, in March, they are all still in school.

I got some old brick from my friend who is moving away, when she was cleaning up her place to sell it. I started making a path to the alley, so I can take the trash out even when it's muddy. I put some down in herringbone pattern and some in running bond, to get an idea of what it would look like. Today I started moving it closer to where I want it, and discovered that the earthworms were already at work, making their paths, digging tunnels and gluing the soil to the undersides of the bricks.

Planted potatoes yesterday and peas today. How does your garden grow?
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In specific, the kindle paperwhite vs the nook glowlight. This pretty much says kindle wins: http://www.trustedreviews.com/opinions/kindle-paperwhite-vs-nook-glowlight Would you agree? Which of the two would you rather receive as a gift?

a bit much

Feb. 23rd, 2015 04:20 pm
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My hard drive died. So far it has been an opportunity to resolve to be better at backups, and to dust all the areas in and around the desk that are normally inaccessible (to me, not to mice), and to regret having given up Benadryl, and to discover that a big chunk of insulation has been chewed off the cable that connects the monitor to the computer, and to be grateful that I didn't discover that when the power was turned on. And to resolve to set mousetraps, if I can find places where the mice can get at them but Newt can't. And to notice all the other things that need cleaning that normally don't get cleaned because normally I have better things to do because normally I have a computer. And to think about trying to recall or retrieve all the passwords that I normally let my browser remember for me. And to mourn over everything else that I depend on my browser to remember for me, like, which of all the episodes of Would I Lie To You? that are available on youtube have I already watched?

Does watching another episode of Would I Lie To You? actually make me happier than sorting out all the crap that has accumulated in that corner of the living room? I don't know, but I know which one I choose when I have the choice.


Today I got a call from the surgeon's office, to say, still not cancer, but the medial margin of the chunk she took out is positive for papilloma, so I should get that re-excised. She'll call me tomorrow morning if I have any questions.

My sleep cycle has been really off since the surgery. Much more likely to be awake at 2 a.m. than 2 p.m. Mornings go: wake up, let the dogs out, pee, make a cup of tea, go back to bed. Tomorrow I will try to stay awake long enough to drink the tea.

I would like to ask the surgeon, "If this were your mother, would you advise her to have it re-excised? Seriously? You're a surgeon, you must know that every time you put someone under you increase their risk of developing dementia. How do you calculate the risk-benefit tradeoff? When you factor in that it has already cost your mother a large amount of money and considerable suffering, and that the reason for surgery was that there's this thing that shows up on mammograms that isn't cancer but might be hiding some cancer, you would seriously tell your mother, that didn't work so do it again? Seriously?"

It is not likely that I will be able to say any of that past the first question mark but I would like to.

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